Picking up L from school yesterday was somewhat of an anticlimatic event. When I walked in, she glanced at me with no emotion and then went back to eating her graham crackers. Another little girl (the daughter of a friend), however, ran to me crying. Needless to say, it seems mommy was more emotional about the whole event than L.
This morning, unfortunately, was a bit of a role reversal. As soon as we pulled up to the school, L started clinging to me and resisted being removed from my hip. We hadn't even gotten into her classroom before she started screaming and crying. I walked her in and helped her get set up with a breakfast snack. But that didn't seem to help much. I had to give her a quick kiss and leave. Because that's when my crying began.
It really sucks knowing that she's scared. I hate leaving her and I miss her so much. There's a real sense of guilt and also helplessness. It's like getting kicked in the gut when she makes the ugly-cry face. I really hope that the day comes when she will be excited to be at school - the sooner the better, at least for my frazzled nerves.
I can totally feel it and I hear you! I think it's the hardest thing to see a baby cry especially when it is yours!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad my mother (also a single mom) somehow managed to stay at home for the first 10 years of my life but I totally understand that this is not always possible.
I'll pray that L. (and you!) will get used to the new routine and that she soon will start to love to go to school and will be excited about the new experiences and friends she will make there!