The First Day

Today was L's first day at preschool -
     - before you say anything, yes she is old enough for preschool.  This particular school starts them at 6 weeks and even at this age they have a designed curriculum -
- and while I've been anxious over the prospect of leaving her in the care of new people, I didn't think I would break down and cry.  You know, like I did almost immediately after I walked into the classroom.  I was walking L around her classroom and showing her all the cool things she'd get to play with and for whatever reason I suddenly felt that familiar sting at the top of my nose and before I could stop it, my eyes welled up and tears just started streaming down my cheeks.  I was trying to keep L from seeing my tears but apparently we're so much on the same wavelength that within thirty seconds she joined in the cry-fest.  I gave her a quick kiss and told her I'd be back in a few hours and then quickly removed myself from the room.  Hearing her wails all the way to the door of the building was painful and I probably sat in the car crying for about ten minutes before I was able to put it in drive and head to school.

Since my classes let out early I stopped by and caught them right in the middle of naptime.  L was fast asleep with Daisy, her cloth doll, and rather than wake her, I decided to run home for a quick lunch.  I'll head back in about twenty minutes to pick her up and I'm anxious to see her face when she sees that I kept my promise to come back.  It's such a difficult part of being a mom, especially a single mom, but I have a feeling this whole change and experience will make my love for her that much stronger and really enhance our bond.